Compatibility and Intimate Relationships

By V. P. Mosser

A wise old lady was asked to share her insights on the problem that is inherent with intimate relationships. The wise-m'am was reluctant to do so, but after some prodding she relented by saying, "Only if we can talk openly, where no one is an expert, so we may be able to see the problem unfold before us."

The Wise-m'am was asked, "Where should we begin?"

She proceeded by saying, "We might be better served to begin at the point after the initial attraction between two people, when dating begins the process of romantic, passionate attachment, when the heat of intimate relationship begins. Romance is the match that lights the fire between individuals, but it requires something else to sustain the burn. Is it not important for us to discover what those ingredients are that combine to sustain the relationship burn?"

Someone spoke up and put the question to the Wise m'am regarding, shouldn't we ask what we mean by intimate relationship? Wise-m'am agreed that was a reasonable place to begin.

Wise-m'am went on to suggest, "Relationship seems to imply a connection of, or between, two individuals which serves to bind the participants-is that not the state of affairs as we've come to know it today? It is the process of becoming interrelated into a single unit that is known to us as an intimate relationship. Intimate relationship often has a sexual component attached to it-but not always."

The question was put to Wise-m'am "What do you think is the biggest determining factor to a successful intimate relationship?"

Wise-m'am smiled and said, "Depends on who you ask, but most women would probably say love, many men might say sex-not necessarily good sex-just sex."

The audience chuckled to hear those words coming from such a wise and serous woman.

Wise-m'am continued, "Let us assume-and rightly so-that love is the bedrock for any meaningful intimate relationship. That being said, the one variable after love with the greatest impact to an intimate relationship would have to be the level of compatibility between the respective participants. This relates to traits like a harmonious fit, as well as the level of flexibility, and adaptability of the participants. We should say that there are two critical components to compatibility, and those are the needs, and wants of the participants, and how well they serve their personal interests as well as the interest of the relationship."

"So let us clarify what we mean by need and want. A need can be said to require something essential or indispensable, or require or feel the necessity for something specific. Another way to put it would be to characterize a need as a demand made on the relationships and the participants, such as the need to be honest with one another or to be monogamous."

"Let us now clarify what is meant by want. Couldn't we say that want is rooted in desire or craving? It is the inclination toward something or to have a fondness for something. For example; I want us to spend Sundays together as a family unit, or it could be as simple as I want some ice cream. In the end it comes down to how well the relationship meets the needs and wants of the participants, does it not? It is a matter of blending the needs and wants of the individual participants into a combination that is unique to the intimate relationship. So, it appears that what has been revealed to us is that the inherent problem in intimate relationship comes down to the compatibility of the participants. This demonstrates the significance of compatibility, and the quality of the relationship. Do we agree?"

Successful entrepreneur, V.P. Mosser is the creator of the Learn the Lessons Series, the Life's Journey publication and numerous thought provoking articles. To learn more and receive free chapters or issues, visit http://www.learnthelessons.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=V._P._Mosser

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This is Why Women Chase Bad Boys - Here is the Blunt Truth Finally Revealed in Front of Your Eyes

By Pushpa Pal Singh

Well it's often said that nice guys finish last but a lot of females out there would simply disagree with this statement. They always say that they want nice men but why do they always end up chasing the bad ones? You see it might not apply to every girl out there but majority of women do. There are some shocking reasons most guys are not aware of. Read on to discover what these reasons are and get ready to be shocked...

Bad guys are mostly emotionally stable- Most bad boys out there are some what cold towards emotions and don't give the type of reactions a girl would expect from them. You see this very fact makes a lot of girls think and such men automatically become a rare breed women run after. Unlike nice guys who always show a strong reaction towards a girl's comments and often end up at the receiving end of rejection from girls.

They are hard to get that's why girls have to have them- Put it this way! If there is a great looking girl who always ends up getting a lot of attention from almost every guy out there suddenly ends up being ignored. You see this would raise her curiosity levels as to why this guy didn't pay attention towards me. Therefore the guy becomes an automatic challenge for her and she would pursue him to see what he's really all about.

They work on their own terms- Bad boys don't work on someone else's terms. They make their own route instead of following someone else's. You see when it comes to the matter of nice guys they always end up agreeing with the girl on almost everything and they try to please her in every way possible due to which they come across as any other guy.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know. This is something you can't afford to miss at any cost click here- Tell Me The Secrets

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh

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How to Sustain a Relationship

By Francis K Githinji

It is generally believed that giving birth to a baby is easy, the hard part is taking care of them. Starting a relationship is easy, taking care of it and making sure that the two of you in that relationship are satisfied is the hard part. Many relationship are ending, marriages are broken-up and most of the time the children are left wondering who to choose. New relationship start every single day but some of them will not survive if people do not know how to sustain a relationship. Here are a few things you could do to make sure you and your loved one do not fall out of love and end a relationship.

Its always good to remind one another that you love each other if you want to sustain a relationship. Every once in a while take time to do something special for the person you love. It could be something as simple as doing their laundry or preparing a simple delicious food. You can also write little love notes and slip them in their pockets or handbags. You can also leave a note on their monitor. Telling someone you love them sometimes is not enough. You have to say those words when you mean them and you have some feelings. Sometimes when you keep telling someone you love them it becomes something automatic, something you have got used to and you just say it because you are used to saying it. Make your partner know that you love them and that they are the one for you.

Appreciate you partner. Whenever they do something good you should appreciate them. Criticizing them will only make them detest you and it won't be long before they want to break up with you. Its easy to overlook the good that someone has done and only see the wrong. You should also recognize their effort. After all they might be doing their best and just because they did not do their best according to your standards it doesn't mean they did not do their best. Make sure they know that you appreciate every little thing they do. Do not forget to thank them if they went out of their way to make you comfortable or if they were there for you. Sometimes a simple thank you can sustain a relationship.

Always respect your mate. Just because you have been with them for such a long time and you are so used to them it doesn't mean you should stop respecting them. Respect is something everyone deserves. Looking down upon your mate is not going to help much if you want to sustain a relationship. Even if your partner lost their job and they can not provide for the family give them their due respect. If your partner does something that you do not agree with there is always a way you can correct them without being disrespectful. You might want to say exactly what you feel but if its a disrespectful hold it. Sometimes silence says more

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Sustaining A Relationship Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Sustaining A Relationship

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Francis_K_Githinji

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How to Understand Your Relationship and Its Hidden Mysteries

By Sandra Fisher

If you want to understand your relationship better or try to figure out the reasons for your relationship problems you will get an amazing amount of insight directly from your handwriting.

It's a well-known fact that no two fingerprints in the world are alike. It's really an amazing thought when you come to think of it. But consider this - there are also no two handwritings in the world that are completely alike. Of all the billions of people in the whole world, no two handwritings are identical. Unbelievable!

All these differences in handwriting tell us a great deal. The fact is that these very differences reveal our unique qualities.

And so, handwriting is like a window that allows us to peep into the personalities of people.

If you go into this further, you will find that there is a large and growing body of information about the benefits of handwriting analysis. You probably know that it is used today by many companies worldwide to fit the right people to the right kind of jobs.

But there's more to it.

Because handwriting allows us to delve into the mysteries of personality so well, it also gives us some of the best possible insights into our relationships - relationships of every variety.

Now this is not hocus-pocus. Through handwriting, we can discover major personality conflicts among couples. In fact, we can see where many relationship problems arise.

You see, while handwriting can reveal a great deal about your own personality it will also reveal information about the personality of your partner.

If you can recognize the similarities as well as the differences in your personalities and understand your respective needs you will be able to compare your needs with that of your partner and find out if they are being met or not.

For example let us presume that you are able to make snap decisions without turning a hair. You are spontaneous and get a lot of fun from doing things on the spur of the moment.

On the other hand, your partner tends to take a long time to choose between two pairs of shoes let alone commit to a long-term relationship which would mean unending soul-searching. You find this highly irritating to say the least. Sometimes it seems like an intentional slap in the face.

If you compared your handwritings you would be able to see that you have the type of personality that allows you to take quick action where needed. However, your partner has a fear of making decisions and appears to have commitment phobia. Once you understand that this is a real problem and not simply an insult to you, it is likely that you will be able to find a way to deal with it.

A comparison of handwritings will reveal this and a lot more. But you do need to be able to understand the clues first.

Sandra Fisher is an expert in handwriting analysis with over 28 years of experience in the field. Her book, "Relationship Secrets" will show you how to identify and understand the problem areas of a relationship and what to do about it. To understand more about the hidden mysteries of your relationship go to: http://graphicinsight.co.za/relationship-secrets.htm

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sandra_Fisher

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How to Keep a Relationship Happy No Matter What - 3 Explosive Tips You Can't Afford to Miss

By Pushpa Pal Singh

One of the major aims of most individuals out there is to achieve happiness and you can never be happy unless you know the true art of keeping your relationship happy. Your personal life greatly affects the level of your overall happiness and this is probably the major reason why we must now the proper tricks and ways to keep the relationship happy. Read on to discover some of the most amazing ways you can use right now to make your relationship happy and fulfilling.

You must spend substantial time with your partner- Spending time with each other is extremely important due to the reason that the most time you spend with your spouse is strongly relationship and the bond gets and at the same time the lesser time you spent with each other the weaker your relationship and your level of happiness would get.

Always end arguments on a happy note- Often ending arguments with your spouse in a nasty way often results in unhappiness in the short and the long term at the same time due to the reason that the issues still remain unresolved. Unresolved issues are often the major reason why several people in the present day and age get a divorce. Therefore always end an argument on a happy note.

Stop expecting too much- Learn to love your spouse or partner the way he or she is instead of keeping a lot of expectations and expecting your spouse to change for you only do make you happy. The moment you accept your spouse the way he or she is happiness comes naturally in the relationship.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know click here- Tell Me The Secrets.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh

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To Be Or Not to Be Honest in a Relationship

By Francis K Githinji

Too much of anything might not be good for you just like being too honest with your partner might not be. We all have secrets and perhaps some secrets are better left unsaid. If you have a new partner and you feel you want to trust him or her i would tell you to go right a head and trust them. What i will not tell you is to be totally honest. Its possible to trust someone without necessarily telling them everything about yourself. Sometimes being too honest can ruin your relationship. Being too honest might not be a good thing.

We all want to know exactly what the person we are having a relationship with thinks or do but sometimes what we do not know will not hurt us. There are things that our partners do that if they told us we would never love them again. We might also never look at them the same way we used to look at them before they told us the truth. The respect you had for them also disappears because they did something that you would not have dared to do yourself. That is why sometimes letting what happened in the past be in the past is a good approach to life. You should be satisfied with what you know about them and trust them enough not to hurt you.

However, sometimes being honest is good. Telling half truths sometimes only worsen the situation. Sometimes being honest saves the partner from finding out something through other sources. Things that you should have told them yourself before they found out from someone else. Relationships have been known to break because a partner could not simply tell the truth or that they hid some truth from their partner. Being honest will also help you be at peace with yourself. You will not worry about your partner finding out something you did from some other people. You will rest knowing what ever you did your partner is okay with it and that they are supporting you and they love you just the way you are.

Whatever you decide in your relationship and whatever your heart feels comfortable with is what you should do. If you feel being totally honest with your partner will not change the way they see you then you should go ahead and tell them everything and not hide. However, if you feel your partner will judge you and maybe leave you then you can choose to tell them half truth. At the end of it all, there has to be some level of honesty in your relationship. You will be the one to decide how much will hurt your relationship and how much will not. Know the person you are relating with, get to know what they expect of you and what they do not. If the person can not handle the truth, spare them and tell them half truths, if they can bear to be told the whole truth and nothing but the truth, go ahead, knock them out, they will recover.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Relationship Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Relationship

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Francis_K_Githinji

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